birthdays

Holding It All Together - Birthdays - by Amy McCollom

I just had my birthday last week, and so did my husband. Our birthdays just happen to be on the same day, different years though. John is two years older than me, just to clear that up.

Having the same birthday was kind of cool, at first. It was unique. How many couples do you know that share a birthday? We used to go to Mr. Steak for our free birthday dinner every year when we were first married. Everybody in the place thought we were twins, until John leaned over the table and kissed me on the lips. Then the looks on their faces went from smiles, to scowls, to confusion. It was almost a game to us. Let's see when they realize we aren't brother and sister.

Then after a few years of sharing a birthday, it got to be less unique, and more of an inconvenience. No longer did I have my own special day. I had to share it with someone. And not just anyone, but a person that lived in my house. A person I loved. I felt sorry for twins. They must have felt the same way.

I'd hope that my husband would get up and fix me breakfast in bed, but he was hoping the same thing from me. So we both would lie there, and eventually get up and fix our own breakfasts. And no matter how big of a deal I made of my husband's birthday, the cake and gifts and balloons...it was all kind of a mute point since it was kind of for me too.

All my life while I was growing up, I had to share a room, clothes, shoes, hair accessories, make-up, and friends. And my birthday just happened to fall two weeks after Christmas. And one week after New Years, which was my brother's birthday. So by the time my birthday rolled around, we were all so sick of celebrating that we could barely stand the sight of cake, much less decorations. So most of my birthdays were met with very little fanfare, used birthday candles, and at least on one occasion a half-eaten blackberry cobbler labeled sadly as my birthday cake.

The first year after John and I were married, my own family forgot my birthday. They really did. All of them! I felt like that girl from the Sixteen Candles movie. Eventually I pouted enough that they realized their mistake, but by then it was seared into my memory. I did enjoy the plenteous gifts that year, though. My birthday just falls at an awkward time for everyone. But I was born three months early, I should have been a March baby. I'm still impatient. It's a flaw.

Then we got children. Actually our first child, Calvin, had a birthday on January 16th. Exactly one week after my and John's birthday. We tried to explain to him that Mommy and Daddy was having a birthday together, and he kept repeating, "and me too!" He would get all upset when we would tell him, no, his was next week. He was two years old, and found it very confusing. But most people do.

So you might say that I'm not a big fan of birthdays. Mine have never been all that great. So I've decided that I'm changing it. You can change your name, hair color, eye color, career, and possibly gender...why not a birthday. I haven't picked a date yet, but it's going to be a warm day when I can go outside and enjoy the sunshine. And it will coincide with John's vacation so he will have no excuse not to make me breakfast in bed. And there will be gifts, and balloons, and a cake with new candles and no pieces missing from last week. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. Like last year, when I turned 32 again.